It's Been A While!
Quite a bit has happened to me since I last posted in this blog. Not outing anyone here, but I have learned that my toxic ex-friend has graduated from community college with an associates. The informant in that matter is anonymous, which brings me to repeat something I have blogged about in the past.
Remember To Look Out For Toxic-Mutuals!
Toxic mutual friends can form from both old and new friends. Earlier this year, I had an issue where this could have happened, but I was able to prevent it. I am not going to be specific at that, so please read the previous blog.
Beware Of Events Involving Any Mutual Friends (Both Toxic and Non-Toxic)
Although you may know whom the close mutual friends are, there is no telling whom they may also be friends with given the fact both of you are disconnected. While having no connection and no means of seeing their sorry faces around you, they may pop up in the most unexpected places. While seeing them at a public shopping center, store, or school, you also have to be weary about going to parties and events.
Say someone invites you to a party they're throwing. You dress up, gather what you need to bring, and show up. That someone is so glad that you made it, and you're fitting right into the party. Nothing seems wrong.
All of a sudden, here comes the toxic ex-friend and his/her new and hot date. They're dressed so nicely that they stand out from the rest of the party goers. Almost instantly, you have that horrible churn in your stomach telling you that you need to get out of there.
What to do when this happens:
Pull the someone who invited you aside and demand that you two speak privately in a secluded place. Let them know about the situation, but tell them you won't be leaving too soon. You don't want your toxic-ex to think that he/she won.
Return to the party and mingle with people who are not in contact with this toxic ex-friend. If he/she tries to come up to you, excuse yourself from the conversation and grab a snack or find another group to talk to. Same goes for his/her date. Whatever you do, do not mingle with him/her either.
Now, say you are at work. Only during the meeting is when he/she should see you and when in a group discussion should you two be talking. If you are meeting an awesome author/CEO and want to talk to him/her, don't leave. Wait to get the chance, and if that toxic ex-friend comes to talk to you, say something like "Do not talk to me. I do not want any contact with you."
If he/she begins to get verbally/physically/mentally aggressive, seek help immediately. Do not leave, because if you are isolated you can be subject to further attacks. Being anywhere by yourself while the toxic ex-friend is with his/her gang or just a boyfriend/girlfriend is even worse, because they in unison can attack you even harder.
Keep your cell phone on hand and be ready to dial 911. Summoning the police to that event not only keeps you safe but makes other people aware of your toxic ex-friend. Having a stranger with no connection to that toxic ex-friend should be treated like gold. He/she could help you!
You may think I'm paranoid when there is an incident like this. However, I have had only a few little issues where I was approached by my toxic ex-friend and her party. So far, they have not approached me as a group. Maybe that's because I've been going places that they would never visit.
Furthermore, I will be giving more advice as time goes on about this in future posts. Thank you so much for reading my blogs!